Life Is In the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler

This is another book that shares life stories to help us find meaning. Author Bruce Feiler explores the ways people have survived, if not thrived, after going through major changes that upended their lives. In Life is in the Transitions, Feiler writes that we will experience many “lifequakes,” or major life transitions, throughout our lives. According to Feiler, these lifequakes, on average, last five years – meaning again, you are not alone.

Divorce is one such transition (though, for me, the fallout has lasted much longer than five years). The trajectory of our lives is not always linear, nor is it always what we expect it to be. The book offers guidance for how we can reinvent our lives post-transition.

I first read this book at the beginning of 2021. As I re-read my notes, I’m called to read it again. I sometimes still get mired in the “I will never find true love” version of the story of my life. As I recover from my last heartbreak and venture out into the world again in search of a partner, I am reminded by this book that it’s time to revise my personal narrative, and that I have the skills to do that.

“Life is the story you tell yourself. But how you tell that story—are you a hero, victim, lover, warrior, caretaker, believer—matters a great deal. How you adapt that story—how you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life—matters even more.”